Words that I was shocked to hear come out my mouth as I sat in the chair at my hair appointment.

My stylist had been poking and prying at my silence ever since I sat down. I told her everything was fine and to be honest I was telling her the truth…..well at least I thought I was. She asked me about my grades and my response was “All A’s” with no emotion what so ever. She asked why I didn’t sound happy about it and all I could respond with was, “I don’t know”. All while I started to question my own emotions and ponder why I wasn’t happy about it, along with a few other things I’m not to ecstatic about. Until she asked, “are you stressed out?” I paused long enough to the point where it dawned on me…

“yeah”.

It was then I felt tears falling from my eyes, not because of the answer but because I knew the direction this conversation was about to go. A direction I apparently have been avoiding for awhile, reality.

She mentioned that she could tell I was stressed out and asked me, “do you have any close friends you can talk to?” And the words, “define close friends” crept out of my mouth. She defined it as “someone you can confide in comfortably, to encourage you and be there for moral support, and things of that nature”. I got quiet, thought about it….got lost in my own thoughts and answered, “no”.*

As this conversation progressed, she seemed to hit everything spot on. Covering various issues from working hard and not seeing the result you strive for or receiving the recognition you deserve to feeling stagnant when it comes to progressing in your life and theres nothing more frustrating than trying to accomplish something only to have things out of your control distort what you originally set out for. This sparked me to think more about my situation and the things I’m experiencing to lead me to only one conclusion no matter what train of thought I approach it with…..what now?

* disclaimer: considering I have friends that follow my blog, I felt it was right to have some sort of justification. Just because you are not labeled as a “close” friend, does not belittle the type of friendship that we already have.